Stay With Me
by Terra Fire
Summary: Hakkai talks about Gojyo coming home late after drinking and being with other women every night.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Saiyuki. Kazuya Minekura owns the rights 

**Author's note:**

Well, this was just a small thing I came up with. Just was something I was thinking about. Just a random thing that as most likely been done countless times. Also, this is a new approach for me. This is in Hakkai's POV.

xXx

_Stay With Me_

xXx

I can't do this anymore.

I can't sit around here every night waiting for him. Waiting for him to come home, smelling of sex and alcohol.

Though, as much as I can't bear it, I know, in fact, that I will wait every night for him to come home. To make sure he comes home. Even if he doesn't, I'll still stay awake.

Why?

It's not like I have any reason to. It's not like I'm bound to him. Gojyo is a grown man, he can do what ever he wishes.

Who am I to stop him?

Certainly not his wife of anything of the sort.

Still...

...Why do I continue to wait for him? Why do I continue to stay with him.

It's almost two in the morning as I hear him stumble into the house.

"'Kai, I'm home," I don't have to see him to know that he is drunk.

"Oh, hello Gojyo," I say with a fake smile that only I can muster, as I walk up to him. "It's nice to see that you're back safe," I say and help him to sit on the bed.

"Aw, 'Kai, you always say 'dat," he slurs. It's true of course, yet that still doesn't keep me from saying it almost every night.

"So, how was your night?" I ask hopeful that he hasn't been with another woman. Even though I don't want to hear it, I'll still ask the question. I walk into the kitchen for a glass of water and a pot, should he feel the need to lose what ever is in his stomach.

"It was great," he says to me. I sit on the bed behind him and tie his hair up so he doesn't see my hurt expression. Though, he's too drunk to really notice anyway.

I've given up on hope a long time ago, so why should I begin now?

"Oh?" I ask and get off the bed to get my self a glass of water. "How so?"

"Well, the bar maid at the tavern, was gorgeous. And tasted great too."

"What did she look like?" I asked, also something I ask every night.

"Beautiful," he says dreamily and lays on the bed with his hands behind his head. "Pale, brown hair and green eyes."

Now,_ that_ was below the belt, even for him. Even though, he doesn't know how much that hurts me.

"Green eyes?" I swallow with my back to him.

"Yup, just like you 'Kai," he smiles.

"So you have a thing for brown hair and green eyes?" I ask with a fake smile turning to him, but he doesn't get to answer me as he sits up and dry heaves in the pot next to the bed. Quickly I sit next him and rub his back in comfort while moving stray strands of hair going into his face even with the hair tie. He stops, but there's nothing in the pot so I make him lie down. His eyes are closed as I put the blankets over his shoulders. As I sit up he grabs my wrist and I look at him.

"Why are you always so good to me?" he asks, something that he asks every night.

"Because I care about you," it's also my answer ever night. Perhaps I need a change. Yes, that's what I need, a change.

But...

...I don't want a change. I want to be here for Gojyo every night, to be here for him, to know that he's still alive. To help him in his drunken state, and his hangover in the morning. To listen to his escapade of his nightly women, even if I don't want to hear it. I want to wait for him, I want to stay with him.

But, I want him to stay with me above all else.

"But, why?" he asks "I'm not worthy to be cared for,"

"Worth is in the eye of the beholder," I answer. I don't know why I answered the question like that, I never have before. Even in his drunken state, he must notice the change as well, because he just stairs at me with those perching crimson eyes.

"And you're the beholder?" he asks after a while.

"Yes," I answer. "Now why don't you get your rest. It's quite late," I say and gently pry out of he grip. I only get a few feet away before he talks again.

"Hakkai," he starts quietly and I turn slightly to look at him only because he has said my full name. "Will you stay with me tonight?" Now I finally turn to look at him, unprepared for the question. Perhaps he's not as drunk as I thought.

"Yes," I answer him. "I'll always stay with you."

...But will you stay with me, Gojyo? I ask him silently.

"Kai?" he questions again as I walk over to the bed.

"Yes, Gojyo?" I ask looking at him. He hesitates when sit on the other side of him, his eyes following my every movement.

"...G'night," he says and I can tell he didn't say what he wanted to.

"Good night, Gojyo," I reply and lay down next to him and pulling the covers to my neck.

I don't realize how tired I really am as I feel my heavy eyelids close, and soon I'm drifting to sleep.

To sleep with dreams no longer of Kanan, but of Gojyo.

_My Crimson Angel._

xXx

**Author's note:**

Yea, it's short. But um, yea, let me know how you like this ficlet (or if you don't). For some reason, I don't think that the last line goes too well. Though, if you put it in an ironic sence, than it does in a way.

_VGT_


End file.
